to vote, or not to vote...is that the question?

so much of our news and society is wrapped around november 4th. with both major parties and candidates far from the politics of jesus we find ourselves in a tough spot. do we pick the lesser of the two "evils?" do we vote party lines? do we ignore the the whole thing together?

many people i have talk to in the "twenty something" age range have considered not voting at all because of the choices and their personal convictions. the typical response i hear to that is either, "well then you have no right to complain about it afterwards...," or "it is your right as a citizen and member of this society." both of these arguments are not valid in my opinion. let's dissect the these responses biblically...

having no right to complain afterwards:
as followers of jesus we have no right to complain about a governmental problem that should be the heart of the church. as my friend nick said recently, "typically if you vote democrat you care about things such as social justice and the environment; if you vote republican you care about what some might call 'moral issues' like abortion." all of these issues should be addressed from the church and not placed in the hands of politics and the government. the bible says that wherever the early church went there also poverty ceased. the body in christ was not building big buildings with their money, investing in "discipleship training programs" or anything like that. they were more concerned about the people that God created in his image that were living in a poor and helpless state. 

feeding the homeless isnt enough. as someone who is actively involved in homeless ministry in richmond i still find myself walking away ashamed i do not do more. yes ministry is not just handing out a sandwich and a water and then saying "God bless you." it is bringing lawn chairs and paper bags to sit on and hanging out with everyday people and not creating a chasm between us and them because of a economic difference. but im getting ahead of myself and a little off topic. 

we as the body of christ never have a right to complain about the government's decisions because as the body of christ and the church in america we are not doing anything about it. we vote these politicians in to do it for us. we vote in obama to feed the poor and take care of the less fortunate. we vote in mccain to help eliminate the innocent murder victims through abortion. but they both have major faults. obama wants the government to run everything from healthcare to social problems that arise. mccain supports the war on terror and through this is killing thousands of lives. both have major faults and issues that are far from the politics jesus defines in the gospels. but the bigger issue that i have with this response of not having a right to complain is that through saying this you are actually implying your complete reliance on the government (or at least to take some slack off of our duty as a follower of jesus) instead of your roles and obligation as a follower. this may not be all but i think this accurately fits the mold of most whom use this argument.

secondly...it is your right as a citizen to vote. first let me state the obvious. we are first and foremost above anything else citizens of heaven. meaning, we are first and foremost citizens to jesus and to the body of christ. this is enough to disarm that response but i will elaborate a little. paul talks about our citizenship as a follower of jesus and places all importance in that..not in the roman government. this should be our first and only citizenship we bring up. our duty is to see how we can better help the people around us and how to act in such a way that eliminates the injustices that are all around us now. today.

my final thoughts are this. whether you vote or not is a personal conviction and a decision that i can not make for you. if you choose to write in your true king, jesus, no one is stopping you either. maybe this year instead of being torn between a person or a party's beliefs you write in jesus not because it will make a difference in the political world, but rather a difference in how you see politics, your role, and your citizenship. may we live our lives through the politics of jesus and not of america. may we live for these issues daily and not on november 4th.

a different set of politics

Across the world people have recognized Christianity as a religion just like most…desiring peace through force and violence when necessary. Some would think that Christianity has done the same damage of Islamic radicals or any other religion. Violence has been a part of our roots, but I say this in great shame. If we truly hold the shattered mirror up to ourselves in America we may find the image a little more disturbing that most are aware of.

Since Constantine and the Roman Empire Christianity has become more than just a movement with some sold out fishermen, it has become a popular governmental banner. When Constantine began advancing the gospel (I say advancing very loosely) at the expense of the sword the very values and movement that was started by Jesus began to fade and a new movement arose. Shane Claiborne a strong activist and follower of Jesus said in his book Jesus for President, “Christianity is at its best when it is peculiar, marginalized, persecuted, and alienated, and it’s at its worst when it becomes popular, common, commercialized, and government run.” I love this statement because it is so true. Another fascinating concept he talks about in his book is that he (while living in the heart of Philly) is approached all the time about the concern for violence and crime in the inner city. His response is that he would take his chances with the people in the city over the temptations and comfort in suburbia.

Jesus never endorses violence but instead commands his followers to love their enemies, care for those who persecute you, and to turn the other cheek. If this way of life is truly lived out I believe our politics would change as well. The typical idea of protecting the unborn life is common among conservative Christians, but if we truly value life we must realize that there is a world that has been violently pushed into a corner of democracy and duplicating the American government. Innocent lives are killed in Afganistan, Iraq, and all throughout the world at the hand of the iron fisted empire we call “land of the free.” For a Christian to support the wars and bloodshed in the Middle East but yet stand against abortion and advocate protecting the lives of the unborn is a disgrace and an embarrassment to the gospel. The war machine we call the United States military is not so different from the Roman Empire we read about in history books, stories, and the Bible. There are such strong comparisons that even tax dollars are used in such a way as the Roman Empire used to advance their world. Almost 50 percent of our tax dollars go towards the military in America and almost exactly 50 percent of the Roman taxes were used to advance the militaristic Roman Empire. This is just one statistic but yet the principle can be seen if looked at with an open eye. This so-called “great nation” is not founded on the Bible or any true sense of Christianity as Jesus meant, but rather the comfortable, conforming, and violent ideas founded in the Roman Empire. Many of our ideas of government, holidays, calendar, etc. come from Rome and the Caesars whom were known for their consumerist, violent, and self-absorbed society.

So may we no longer compromise under a “Christian nation.” May we truly follow Jesus with our lives that model out the foolish ideas of a carpenter. May we be peacemakers.

loving the hell out of people

This is a book response to a section of Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne recently posted as requested by a friend on a blog.


http://bunderwood.wordpress.com/


"Christians must discern between the voices competing for their allegiance."

One of the most profound statements (he makes many) Shane makes in this section talks about our allegiance to a nation instead of it lying in a Savior. As Shane quotes President Bush and Osama Bin Laden both talking about freedom and how to rid the world of “moral evil,” you can easily see the similarities in the two. They both believe it is their right and calling to deliver the world from the evil. As they both believe in ridding each other from the world, Claiborne talks about our duty as Christians (or what should be our duty) to ‘excommunicate’ a baptized follower of Jesus from taking part in communion because of doctrine or moral behavior that is adjudged to offend against God or the Christian community.

He talks about the gift of community and how precious God intended it to be and how this idea is not meant to bully or rid the church of them but rather bring proper and healthy discipline. When viewed with the ideas of exiled, execution, and bombings we see that this idea of excommunication is not only somewhat reasonable, but almost a great idea.

I am compelled by his statements about love and hell. This idea of “loving the hell out of people” is incredibly difficult to live out but yet it is truly life altering. Shane discusses and walks through the two different situations when Jesus talks about hell in a violent way both having to do with us creating a chasm between us and others therefore building a wall between God and us. He talks about Matthew 25 as well as the rich man and Lazarus. Jesus never uses hell fire and brimstones sermons on the mount, but rather loving our enemies, taking care of the poor, feeding the homeless, and loving the widows and orphans. Instead of scaring people into heaven we need to love them out of hell. In essence…loving the hell out of people. Since hell is something we create and live now, on this side of eternity, we have the opportunity to help others escape their hell.

May we as followers of Jesus love the hell out of people. May we believe and hope that there is more than a pledge and flag of a nation. May we rise up and become a true follower of Jesus and live a life in allegiance with what the Scripture says instead of what our government or nation says. May we represent the Jesus in the Gospels and not the one of the paintings, stories, and lies crafted by societies and cultures. May we truly find ourselves living this out every day and not just on November 4th.

"you have no idea what just happened..."

Over the past few weeks and even months this statement has been stated, "Phil, you have no idea what just happened..."  Tim has said it over and over to me after God moves at the Hanger.  After seeing and watching God move there and being a part of ministering to the students there I have seen some incredible and crazy God stories.

This weekend I saw another one of these stories.  I brought my newest Nooma dvd to a college I visited this past weekend.  I talked to some friends and we all piled into one small dorm room and put the dvd in.  This dvd talked about prayer and how powerful it is.  As the dvd started this guy walked in and stood parallel to the tv.  He didn't seem too interested and so he stayed parallel to it and didnt seem to try too hard to watch it.  About two thirds of the way through the fifteen minute dvd he stood back and no longer seemed interested at all.

The moment the dvd was over he asked, "Who's dvd is this?"  He said it very bluntly and almost harshly.  I spoke up and claimed it.  He walked over and put his hand out for me to shake and said, "I just wanted to say thank you.  I just realized that I never lost it, I just wasn't looking for it.  Goodnight."  Then he walked out.  I had no idea what had just happened.

Girls in the room started crying and weeping over what had just taken place.  I just sat there wondering exactly how God used me and this dvd.

The next day the story was finally told.  This young man grew up cultural catholic and in the past few weeks have really been faced with deciding what he believes and why.  His roommate had just recently given his life to Christ on an IV retreat.  So since his roommate's decision he has been very critical of the Christian faith.

He realized at some point in that dvd as the Holy Spirit convicted him that he wasn't living out the lifestyle he is supposed to and how he views his faith.  This had been a major prayer for the friends and people in that room.  This prayer is about someone's lifestyle but there was a recognition and awareness of a decision that he has to make.

I had no idea when I packed this dvd this would happen.  I almost didn't bring it.  I didn't have some great revelation about bring this new Nooma dvd.  I just happen to place it in my bag, but God wanted it there and he used it.  

God continues to move.  God continues to use a crazy white kid (as tim put it) for some reason.  God is still on the throne and he is still working in and around me.  I am so blessed that He allows me to be a part of his work.

commission vs. omission

I am reading this book called In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day by Mark Batterson.  I cannot seem to put it down but with my busy schedule I find myself toting it around and reading it before classes, convocation, or whatever so if I happen to get a minute or two to read I pull it out with my pen (gotta be able to mark in it...duh!)

This book is a must read and I encourage anyone who has not read it to read it as soon as possible.  This is a book that will really change your "churchy" perspective on how to be a true Christ follower.

One of the topics he touches briefly on that I fell in love with was this idea of commission versus omission.  A lot of times in churches today and sunday schools we are told about the "don'ts" in being a Christian (don't drink, don't have sex before you are married, don't do drugs, etc.).  Batterson makes a strong statement that we get hung up on the lesser of the two evils if you will.  I completely agree.  Our bigger concern should be the opportunities we miss out on.  Not witnessing, not serving, not putting others first, etc. are things that we just sit back on the sidelines and cheer others on as they take part in the adventurous elements of Christianity.  We have opportunities lying in front of us all the time but yet we never see them or chose not to act.

I was talking with a guy that I disciple and mentor today about this concept from the book and he was blown away.  We began talking about it and then he made this comment, "but it's just how we were wired.  We are too scared to do the wrong thing or 'miss out' on 'God's perfect will.'" He is right.  Our flesh and natural instinct is to ignore or miss out on the things that we probably should be doing.  I replied by referring to what Paul said about beating his body into submission.  We do not ever want our bodies or flesh to determine our decisions or our ability to act or to ignore a situation.  It is flesh and blood, but more importantly it is sinful and selfish.  My flesh and even my heart can be deceptive.  Out of the heart speaks the mouth but what am I feeding my emotions?  Am I hiding God's word in my heart?  Am i memorizing Scriptures?  It is no one's fault but my own.  I am happy that God has been showing me these things now so I can begin to work and submit these things over to Him.  I want Him to wipe away any calluses on my heart and make my heart like baby skin like Keith Green prayed.  I never want to become numb to the uncomfortable lifestyle a Christian SHOULD be living out.

24

tick' tick'...i love the show 24 with the nonstop action and the intensity of Jack Bauer.  I love the fact that the 24 hours of the show can be dragged out for several weeks and episodes and even seasons ( I think they are on season 7 now?).  Regardless 24 hours is a lot.

24 hours in a day.  Sure we could all probably fast 24 hours.  Stay awake 24 hours.  Or do a lot of things for 24 hours.  I have decided to embark on something I have never done before.  I am going to spend 24 hours this week in prayer.  This means that throughout my day I need to pray a little more than 3 hours a day.  I have never prayed this much in a week.  My hope and desire is to spend most of this time per day consecutively.  Meaning, I can pray for thirty minutes here and there and possibly find a way to get it all in.  I want to try and get as much of that time in one setting.  If I have to split it into two sections then that is fine too.  The goal of this prayer movement for me is to capitalize on what Jerry Falwell said so often when referring to prayer.  "All our failures are prayer failures."  God is calling to stop praying like I am just tossing hopeful words to a ceiling.  Prayer is powerful and can be effective if our hearts are aligned with His.  As I fasted I saw tremendous fruit from it both spiritually but also with my physical eyes.  I am not stopping the hunger and thirst I experienced on that fast.  It lives on in my heart and my spirit and will continue over into this 24 hours of prayer this week.  I am praying and expecting God to do some amazing things in my life and the lives I pray for.  God has put an expectation in my mind that if I want to truly see him move I need to start expecting in faith that he will.

I just received the new NOOMA dvd today and guess what it was all about.  PRAYER.  It spoke perfectly to what God has called me on as I support my brother who is fasting right now, and my other brother who is leading youth and students into an intimate relationship with Him.

day fifteen

Well today was full of bumps and bruises literally.  Today was the halfway mark for the fast and I was excited about how far I had come.  I knew that God would give me the strength to complete thirty days and allow me time to recover before going to Greece on my missions trip over spring break.  I was feeling sick yesterday due to the flu and cold going around campus and my roommate has it.  I decided to take a nap and allow my body to get some rest and try and fight off some of the sickness.

As I was taking a nap I fell out of my top bunk and my head slammed on the desk below and I blacked out for several minutes before waking up to having to throw up.  I noticed the huge pain in my head and the goose egg on my forehead that was already swelling up.  My RA told me to call LUPD because they are trained EMS as well and let them decide what to do.  When the officer came minutes later he told me that I needed to go to the hospital and get looked at.  My roommate took me to the hospital and I got a CAT scan and an x-ray which both came back negative...thank God.  I was told by the doctor that it was not just a minor concussion because I did black out for several minutes, but luckily there seems to be no signs for greater concern.

The doctor told me that she did not want to give me strong pain killers because of the side effects caused by them are exactly the signs to look out for after a major concussion like mine.  She did however say because of the great pain in my head to take three extra strength tylenol.  Because she told me to take it every four hours I felt compelled to mention to her about my fast.  I needed her medical opinion about what I should do if I am going to be taking pain killers every four hours on a regular basis for the next several days.  She told me that I did need to come off of my fast.  As upset I was I needed to listen to the council of the doctor.  I was able to actually witness to her about why I was fasting and she was very encouraged and we began to talk about Jesus and the fast that he did.  She was amazed that I had done fifteen days and that I was planning on doing thirty.  As much as she wanted me to continue she told me that I needed to eat food to help give my stomach something to help with the drugs.  

So this is the end of my fast, and my heart aches.  I want to weep, but I know God is in control.  I am trusting God and I know the results from what God has shown me on the fast and it encourages me to make this something I do often.  Prayer and reading have become parts of my lifestyle like never before.

Luckily I love blogging now and will continue to write as often as I can, hopefully daily.  Thank you for your prayers and support.

To God be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Books I read today:

The Relevant Church - Mike Bickle, Mark Driscoll, and more.

Scripture I read today:

Ephesians 1-4

Verse of the day:

4:12

day fourteen

Isaiah was a man that God spoke to on a regular basis.  He used encouraging but powerful analogies when talking about the "bigness" of God.  I printed off Scripture passages that encourage me on my wall right in from of my desk today.  Here are some of the ones I posted up:

Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:25

To whom will you compare me? Or  who is my equal? says the Holy One.  Lift you eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name.  Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

Isaiah 40:12

Who has measure the waters in he hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket or weighed the mountains on the the scales and the hills in a balance?

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is in your midst, a might one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you with his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

May you remember today that God has a plan and purpose for you.  May you hear the Holy One sing loudly over you and quiet you with his love.  May you see that he is mighty to save and that he is in your midst.  May you realize how big the LORD is today when you look into the sky and at the mountains.  May you find strength and rest in knowing that he will raise you up and increase your power.  May you fall deeper in love love with the one who holds this universe together in the palm of his hand.

Books I read today:

The Revolutionary Communicator - Jedd Medefind, and Erik Lokkesmoe

Scripture I read today:

Romans 1-5

Acts 4-8

Isaiah 40

Verse of the Day:

Isaiah 40:25

day thirteen

God you never forsake or abandon me.  You never leave me or fail me.  Why?  Why do you continue to lavish your love upon me even when I am far from where I should be.  Why have you not given up on me and walked away.  You should have a long time ago, but for some reason you hang around and say, "This is my son, in whom I am well pleased."  

I do not deserve to be called you son, I do not deserve to be called your friend, but yet you call me son, friend, and beloved.  I would be content with a slave eating the scraps that fall to the dogs but yet you ask me to dine with you and sip your wine.  You clothe me when I am naked, you feed me when I am hungry, and you quench my thirst when I am thirsty and I am not even talking about the physical needs yet.  

You sing and dance over me at night.  You give me dreams and visions.  You give me far more than I could even imagine.  You not only take care of me spiritually, but physically.  When I am sick or have physical problems you come to my rescue as I cry out to you.  When I am sad and depressed you come along side of me and wrap your arms around me.  When I am alone and feel helpless you come walk along side of me and show me that you are always here no matter what.  When I fail you and everyone else around me you ask me to sit in your lap and lean my head on your shoulders.

I need more of you in my life Father.  I am not content with where I am.  I pray that I never find my self satisfied with your Word, and your presence.  I want to continue to grow in knowledge and wisdom.  Cause me to trust you in everything.  Cause me to rely solely on your Spirit and how it leads me.

Teach me to pray O Lord.  Show me how to connect in such a way with Your Spirit that I do not take my foot off the ground to move until I feel you leading me.  I know that You have given me a brain and a heart to use but I want those too to die in the flesh so that Your Spirit will reign and rule over every fiber in my body.

God my prayer for this campus is that You help us to start to be the hands and the feet.  Help us to not only be passionate about the Bible and prayer, but to follow Your instructions and feed the poor, and shelter the homeless, and take care of the widows and orphans.  My prayer is that You let it start with this campus.

God never allow me to be so certain of myself or my future that I forget to let you drive and direct my life.  My prayer is that You continue to drive my every step and hold my hand the whole way.  The day that I start to take over is the day my life becomes a wreck and useless.  I am nothing without you God.  Cause me to keep in the forefront of my mind and heart that I must decrease so that you can increase.

I love you God.  I love you Savior.  I love you Daddy.

Books I read today:

None.

Scripture I read today:

Psalm 119

1 Peter 2

Verse of the day:

Zephaniah 3:17

day twelve

There are days in our lives when nothing seems to go right.  But there are also those days when nothing seems to go right, but somehow when you lay your head down at the end of the night God still gives you a peace that He is in control and that there is nothing to worry about.

I would not call my day rough but rather just long and tiring.  I had friends come up from home to see a concert here at Liberty and I got to give them a tour of the campus.  One of them is coming here as a freshman next year and she is really excited about what God is doing on the campus as I gave them a brief snapshot.  I had people come up from my home church for the weekend to check it out.  I enjoyed helping everyone but as we all know...giving directions over and over again and helping can be exhausting at the end.  I loved doing it and serving them while getting nothing in return, but at the end of the day (especially without having any food to energize you) I was wiped out.  How amazing it is though to share with others about what God is doing on this campus after the amazing days that I have had recently.  I got to share testimonies of lives being changed and transformed.  I talked about the hunger and thirst from the guys on the hall for more of Him and how it is becoming contagious.  Our prayer is for this entire campus to be revitalized and rejuvenated in their spiritual walk.  Our prayer is that as one campus we can unite together and see the world changed and reached starting here in Lynchburg and in the United States and going out into the ends of the world.

I am loving having my brother and cousin here for the weekend.  They bring life back into me seeing young people desire God and to know that there is such hope for this generation and the one after me.

Books I read today:

None. (really busy day)

Scripture I read today:

Acts 12-15

Verse of the day:

Jeremiah 29:11

day eleven

So the weekend is almost here and I am looking forward to sharing it with my brother and cousin who came up for the weekend.  They are so much fun and I am looking forward to sharing the excitement that is on this campus for God.  I hope that it becomes contagious for them and that they experience the hunger and thirst for more of God.  This weekend I am hoping to not only have a great time with them but also grow together.

Today I was reading in Mark about Jesus' responses to the questions he was asked.  I studied his responses and the way in which he spoke to them.  I also studied the next word in my One-Word Study of the Lord's prayer "who".  God is continuing to open my eyes to the simple truths that in every word of this inerrant book.  I look studying one word at a time.  It has its times of frustration (especially with simple words) but God makes it so worth it.

I had accountability with my RA today and we were talking about different things that God is doing on the hall and how excited he is.  We talked about everything from the emotional aspects to the biblical truths and the doctrine behind what is happening.  He is a Biblical Studies major and so we spend a lot of time talking theology and the historical aspects of the Bible.

Today was a re-energizing day for me.  I took a nice nap and threw some softball with my teammates for our intramural team.  Today was a solid study day while still knowing that the Spirit of God is moving mightily and even violently on the hall.  I am still expectant of what he is going to do and prayerful that this only the first of many things to happen.

Books I read today:

The Revolutionary Communicator - Jedd Medefind, Erik Lokkesmoe

The Relevant Church - Mike Bickle, Mark Driscoll, and more.

Scripture I read today:

Mark 7-15

James 1-3

Verse of the day:

James 3:13

day ten

In awe of God's sovereign power I find myself silenced with words, but yet hungry and thirsty in my spirit.  I discover how far I from God's will in my life while others encourage me that I am so far ahead of them.  I see how far I am away from where I would like to be.  I am broken and stripped of any and all pride everyday by seeing God's power moving and knowing that He could use anyone else on this campus, on this hall, but yet He chose me.  I am constantly reminded of the story of Moses while I see the Spirit moving.  Moses felt unqualified though his age, speech, and past but yet God chose to use him and no one else.  God keeps reminding me that there is nothing I do to make him want to use me more or less when it comes to works but rather a hunger and thirst for more of His word and spending time in prayer is what He is truly after.

Today was a unique day.  We did pray and there were more guys that I had never expected to be in there along with other small group leaders that partner with me in leadership on the hall.  So it is exciting to see that I am not the only leader who is participating in this desire for more of him through our times of prayer.  But besides praying again and seeing all that happened in that God taught me a lot on my own today.  I learned that this fast is showing me about what it means to really operate in the Spirit and to trust God in all.  As I talked with a friend of mine earlier today he was telling me that I was not ready for what God is going to do.  He was encouraging me by telling me that I have no idea what I am getting myself into (in a good way) and that for me to just pray and ask God to continue to keep me expectant and ready for what His Spirit is doing.  My friend was telling me that I am about to see something happen on this campus that not many men ever get to see.  Knowing the theological background of Liberty he was telling me how exciting it was to see how the Spirit was moving and how he was showing up everywhere I go.

Today I took pictures of family, friends, and pastors that are close to me and put them on my wall.  I put them there to remind me to pray for them.  My prayer is not only for myself, my small group, or this hall, but my prayer goes out to everyone that I am in relationship with.  I want to see a hunger for more of Him to rise up not only on this campus, but back home in Richmond, at my friend's universities, at churches all across this state.  My expectations are high because of the answer to prayer I have seen in the past few days.  I no longer take prayer lightly.  When I pray I expect God to do something, and I expect to see things happen not only in the physical realm but also the spiritual realm.

I am truly studying prayer right now and taking each word and breaking apart.  I'm doing what Louie Giglio calls a One-Word Study.  For example I am stuck on "Father" in the Lord's prayer and God is showing me so much.  I do not care if it is the word "the" I will study it and I believe that God will show me something I have never seen before.

Books I read today:

The Relevant Church - Mike Bickle, Mark Driscoll, and many more.

Scripture I read today:

Exodus 1-4

Matthew 6

Luke 11

Verse of the day:

Philippians 4:6

day nine

I wish the hunger and thirst that I have been praying for on this hall was evident to not only me but I wish you could see it too in person.  It is incredible to see what prayer and fasting does on this hall.  I am thankful that God has not only given me a heart for prayer about this hall and the guys on it, but that I am getting a chance to see the seeds be harvested.

Tonight was a typical tuesday night.  it was small group night.  the way small group ministry works at liberty is like the image you see.

RD - resident director

RA - resident assistant

SLD - spiritual life director

PL - prayer leader (small group leaders)

PGM - prayer group member (usually 5-6 per prayer group)

This is effective because everyone on campus at liberty is being ministered to and has a CHANCE to be personally disciple and mentored.

Attending prayer groups is not mandatory at all but definitely encouraged and endorsed by Liberty University.  I have five awesome guys and they love the NOOMA videos by Rob Bell.  A lot of nights we will watch one and then have discussion about it.  Some nights the questions go as planned, other nights we get completely off track (which is awesome too).  Tonight we watched the video called "Breathe".  I wanted to something unique and different because of what God had been doing in my life over the past few days and the heart I have for prayer right now and seeing the fruit of it.

After the video was done playing I explained to the guys that I did not want to talk about it, preach, discuss, or anything.  I wanted to pray and let the words in the video along with being lead by the Spirit lead us into a place of intercession.  I told the guys that I did not want to just "pray for the person on our left or right," but really press in and intercede for the needs in our lives, and for the things in our lives that God wants to take from us.  For thirty minutes we prayed all out and as I lead this guys in prayer they just ran with it.  After that I wanted to just spend time praying for each of the guys one by one.  I wanted each of us to all lays hands on one person and pray collectively for his needs, life, and the blessing he is.  So one by one they sat in a chair in the middle of the room and each guy prayed for the guy sitting down and then I would close us out each time.  All five guys prayed and then I would close, and one by one would sit down and we would do it again and again and again.  Finally once the last guy prayed I was getting ready to lead us in a closing prayer and the guys told me that I hadn't gone yet and they sat me down in the chair and prayed a blessing over my life.  The encouraged me so much and spoke life into my Spirit.  I began to cry just knowing that the love I have for each of them was being shown back to me and that my work in their lives over the past 6 months of school has been effective.  After they prayed over me I closed us out in prayer and each of the guys walked out with a sense of joy, peace, and even some were emotional after seeing what God had done.  I walked out more in love, more hungry, more thirsty, and more passionate for what God is doing.  CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT IS GOING ON?  IS THIS REAL?  I wanted to shout out these questions to everyone in the hall.  I have such excitement right now and it is contagious.  God continues to show up bigger and bigger everyday in a new and exciting way.  If this is the answer to prayer, fasting, and leadership than I have no one to blame but God.  I am so humbled by what he is doing in me, through me, and around me.

Books I read today:

The Relevant Church - Mike Bickle, Mark Driscoll, and more.

Scripture I read today:

Psalm 112-118

Proverbs 25-31

Verse of the Day:

Job 1:1

day eight

God continues to blow my mind on the time of fasting.  I am glad I chose to wait and journal yesterday until now because one of the key highlights of my day yesterday was at the end of my evening.

Jason and I decided to pray together yesterday for a while.  We were probably in the room for over an hour just seeking God and praying for the hall, our small groups, and the campus here at large.  God showed us Scripture that allowed us to back up and pray for the unity of the hall.

Before I tell you about what happen last night I need to build up the story a little...

I live in room 305, and there are four rooms to the left of mine that all belong to wrestlers.  Last semester there were several times when it would be after midnight and they would be blaring music and being loud.  The hall phone is right beside my room and some of the wrestlers thought that it would be funny to stretch the phone cord and wrap it on our door handle, knock on our door, and run.  So when I opened the door it was slam on the ground and no one would be standing there.  Needless to say these are a few examples in which me and the rooms beside me do not like each other.

Until a week ago I had never actually sat down and talked with any of them.  Adam was the one that opened up.  He is so knowledgeable and passionate but still very young.  He and I have talked about everything from theology and doctrine to books and music we like.

Last night after Jason and I had got out of our small group meeting that we have weekly on mondays Adam peeked his head in and asked if we could pray for a bit.  I asked Jason if he was in a hurry to go to sleep and we both agreed to pray for a bit but nothing real long.  After I told Adam that we would love to pray, his friend Joe (also a wrestler) walked in to say hi and we invited him to pray if he would like.  I told them that we could pray each of us and be lead by the Spirit in what to pray for and then I would group us together and close us out as we pray for each other.  About five minutes into praying (I had my back to the door) I heard some voices that I did not recognize.  I turned around and noticed five different wrestlers on my floor in my tiny dorm room.  They were on their faces praying and seeking God, singing along with some worship music that was in the background, reading Scripture and praying Scripture.  Jason and I before last night had never had more than one wrestler in our room and these guys are right beside us.  They are our neighbors and we had never had a relationship with any of them.  All of a sudden there for FIVE huge muscular guys in my room on their faces before God.

As I am praying and leading us as a group in praying for different things that come to me.  We probably were praying for over an hour and then I killed the music and told everyone in the room to just be quiet and lets allow God to speak to us.  I told them to rid themselves of any distractions whether in the room by closing their eyes or in their minds with stuff like school or relationships.  There was no talking and not even a noise for five minutes.  Finally I told the guys that if God was speaking or laying something on your heart then speak it out.  Jason talked about the hall and how God wanted to ignite a passion and a hunger for more of Him.  Then one of the guys said that we needed to pray for the rooms on the hall.  I immediately said, "Ok, lets go do it."  At 1:30 in the morning I lead the guys in the hall to prayer for each room.  I told them to pray very quietly so that we do not disturb anyone but to place your hand on the door or the door number on the wall and pray as you feel lead.  I told them to pray for each room but make sure that while we are doing this we are being quiet and respectful.  We split and started at two different sides of the hall and worked our way all the way down the hall until we met.  Then after we prayed we gathered back in my room and all held hands and prayed together.  After I closed us out in prayer each of the guys hugged me and thanked me for everything.  I looked at Jason and we both were just full of smiles.  It even brought a tear to my eye to see what God is doing.

If you would have asked Jason and I if last night would have ever happened we would have been the first of many to say, "yeah right."  God answers prayer.  Jason and I have been praying for the very thing that started last night.  I have been seeking God through this fast and God allowed Jason and I to see the fruit of it.  The presence of God was so thick and present in the room while we were praying that no one could ignore it.  Nothing crazy or "weird" happened last night other than the fact that there were eight guys in one room praying for each other, ourselves, our hall, our campus, and the body of Christ as a whole.

I am still in awe and amazement about what exactly happened last night.

This is only the first wave of seeing God move.  First of many to come.

Books I read today:

The Relevant Church - Mark Driscoll, Mike Bickle, and more.

(A lot of school work)

Scripture I read today:

Psalm 119

Psalm 139

2 Timothy

Titus

Verse of the day:

1 Peter 3:8

day seven

Wow an entire week.  The mental impacts of the fast have been great.  I have had to remind myself that it doesn't matter what day I'm on cause I have the one who made the day to begin with.  Everyday carries with it new surprises and new struggles that allow me to see God and grow.  I'm glad I chose to write later than earlier tonight because there was some major spiritual battles that occurred as I got in the bed last night.

As I was under the covers, about to fall asleep a heard voices through the wall and I couldn't quite make out what they were saying but it was loud enough to where I felt like I needed to get up and check it out. I walked next door and heard, "I bind you Satan..." and recognized the voice.  It was my friend Adam who is a red shirt freshman on the wrestling team.  All four rooms to the left of me are wrestling rooms and I am the first to admit that nine out of ten times they got under my skin last semester with noise and dumb stuff.  For some reason though, this semester has been different.  I have never gotten a chance to really speak to those guys or get to know them until last week.

I was in my room praying with Jason and from what Adam told me he heard me praying and later asked me if Jason and I pray regularly.  I told him that we do and that he was more than welcome to join us whenever he heard us (our walls and doors and not sound proof at all so it is not like we are screaming or anything) praying.  His testimony is incredible and we began a conversation that night a week or so ago that lasted over an hour.  He was at VMI and was a major drug dealer doing all the drugs you could name every day and getting wasted.  He has no church background and so in his words he has not been poised by religion. haha.  He is the most raw and authentic guy you will ever meet with a heart and a passion for the Word and the Holy Spirit.  We were talking about my new favorite music to listen and pray to (Misty Edwards and Jason Upton) and we talked about IHOP (International House of Prayer) and how incredible of a ministry they have.  He brought up Morning Star (a prophetic prayer church and movement based out of South Carolina) and we talked about Rick Joyner (a leader in the movement) and how he actually meets with Jonathan Falwell (weird) on occasion.

So back to the story...

Adam was praying against the spiritual attacks on one of his friends that is also a wrestler.  Adam has such a heart for his friends to fully come to know Jesus.  Some of them say one thing but live a completely different lifestyle.  After I heard Adam praying I walked back into my room and grabbed my Bible and then walked into the room next door to get in the action.  We spent over two hours praying over this wrestler and the room.  We later found out why they were such strong attacks life.  He was letting the enemy attack him through lust, evil thoughts, homosexuality, drugs, alcohol, death metal, and words that he heard as a child of being a failure.  Each of these topics were manifested as attacks and we prayed each of them through Scripture and the blood of Jesus Christ.  It was the most real and powerful thing I had ever seen before.  PERIOD.  I have never seen anything in the spiritual realm and the warfare that occurs like I did then.  I know some people (even at Liberty) do not believe in a lot of what occurred in that room but as real as I am I promise you that everything that happened was far from fake.

What an incredible day.  God thanks for feeding me spiritually and causing me to become more hungry and thirsty for you.

Books I read today:

The Relevant Church - Mike Bickle, Mark Driscoll, and many more.

The Final Quest - Rick Joyner

Scriptures I read today:

Genesis 1-20

Verse of the Day:

Genesis 1:1

missions in the church today

A common problem in churches today in America is the lack of passion and desire to do local missions, much less to do something global. A lot of pastors and churches believe that the soul of the church and its’ health is the main focus and should take far more attention and concern than missions, or any other “project.” I am not saying they don’t “care” but they just have higher priorities. The church would love to have pastors and missionaries popping up and going out, but the problem is that average church is losing members and therefore the greater concern is numbers, and doctrine to a biblical illiterate world.

A pastor told me once that the great commission is not a bullet point on a church mission statement, or on the “to-do” list but rather THE calling and THE mission of the church that was a commandment by Jesus Christ himself. God’s heart is to see everyone come to know Him and have an opportunity to reach him. Anyone can put together a moving sermon about missions and reading stories of starving orphans who need our help, but the problem has become that the church has become “numb” to these things. The stories aren’t real to us anymore, and we feel less and less obligated to go and do something. A lot people in the body of Christ have the mentality that if you just show them where to give the money to then God will get off our backs. The reality is that God’s not on your back about it, it’s the very word of God who commands us over and over to “go…and make disciples of all nations.” Where to give money to isn’t the issue. Christians have money, churches have money, and yet our buildings and programs are getting bigger and more cultural. A beautiful stain glass shouldn’t be the drawing factor for the lost; it should be light that shines out from each of us Christians. Jesus calls himself the light of the world, and before he leaves calls his followers the very same. Paul talks about shining as bright as the stars to the world. How will the world see our light if we stay inside our four walls?

The reality is that there are fewer and fewer missionaries going out. The even greater reality is that the missions that are out there in the world today feel alone, are being persecuted, being killed, and feeling hopeless in a huge world that has found the big target on their back called “Christian.” The proper tools are available to avoid a lot of situations and prevent problems that keep occurring in the world of missions. The few missionaries we are sending out now from the Body of Christ come from Christian colleges and universities. As educated as they might be, a lot fail to get extra resources from mission’s boards, and other organizations that could seriously impact their ministry field. Doctrine is a great thing to know, but culture is even better. Scripture memorization is key, but without a language to relate you are useless practically. God wants to use each of use in some form of missions but walking in without proper tools can be a major problem. God has provided us with the proper tools and resources to be well equipped and to truly impact the world for Christ. As much as we consider faith a huge step in the process of going into the world of missions, God does not call us to be ignorant or stupid. There are great training programs and safety/ survival kits out there exactly designed for missionaries. These are available so that we can be even more effective and so that God will use our tools to not only equip us, but also protect us.

Feeling overwhelmed is another common factor when asking the church why not go? God calls us to go into the entire world, to love our neighbors as ourselves, to take care of the orphans and widows. These are all things that can be done in a local city. There are a lot of starving, helpless, homeless, God-less people in our very own backyards. Some churches believe that before you even send out people to farther parts of the world you need to reach your own cities and country first. Others believe that we are called to the ends of the earth proclaiming the gospel of Christ and that going to a local city is for someone else, or that they have already heard about Jesus. My belief is both. I believe very strongly in global missions and going to impact the unknown world for Christ, but I also firmly believe in serving the local surroundings God has put you in. Feeding the homeless, helping the sick, and taking care of others is all something that each city in America needs. I believe that missions should start local and serve the community. After the community is being reached more go out into the nation and the country that you are a part of. Finally go into the world and help the global world find Christ. Jesus always talked about going into Jerusalem first. Our home must be our first concern and if we do not have a heart for those people then how will we ever have a heart for anyone else. Our love and resources shouldn’t be limited to those in Africa, Asia, South America, and so on. It should start here. I believe you need all three to fully be effective in missions.

This mentally is a change from what is really going on. On paper it sounds nice, but what are we really going to do about the world out there that is in need of Jesus Christ. Jesus always met people’s needs first. When he feed the five thousand he feed them, then when they wanted more he told them that he is the “bread of life.” As much as the souls of people are important, we need to reach their physical needs first and then God will open the doors for the Word of God to come in and change hearts and lives. Jesus laid out the perfect idea of missions and prepared the way for us to go, but I’m afraid that sitting in church pews isn’t getting the job done in anyone’s eyes.

just a thought...

I love the words of Paul. So many times I feel like we are the same people, and other times like he is light years in front of me. I hear him say things like he does what he doesn’t want to do, and doesn’t do what he ought to do. Those words are music to my ears. Hope for those of us who are far from where we probably should be.

In my journey I have discovered that Christianity as we know it here in the North American culture is probably not what Jesus truly had in mind. I make this bold statement but I am not really doing anything to make it better. What is the heart of God? What does it mean to know the heart of God? How would He want us to life our faith? How is Christianity supposed to be lived out?

I struggle daily with what it means to be that “perfect Christian” that the church tells me I have to be. In order to serve in ministry, or even attend most churches we must put these artificial masks on so that they do not “judge our fruit.” What a tragedy the bride of Christ has become in so many ways. I love it when I get a glimpse of the true bride of Christ. I think that is what makes it worth my while. That is the drive behind me continually serving, loving, caring, and being the bride. Unfortunately, I see the mask she wears more than I see her face.

I knew this guy who is no longer in the church as you and I know it because of the wounds she has given him. He served in countless ministries, and was one of the most intelligent men I knew at that time. He could quote scripture like I talk about football. He attended a church and after he began speaking fairly regularly from the pulpit. He never hesitated to tell the truth, especially when the church needed to be heard from the church. He was quickly making enemies in the church because of his openness and willingness to say what God has put on his heart. The situation got worse when the leadership failed to handle it correctly. The kicked him out, and told him that he was not being a real Christian by saying those things. He no longer wants to be a part of the corporate church. He chooses to do small groups, and home churches. This man remains one of the godliest men I know, but with a huge wound from the bride of Christ.

Jesus came on this earth and radically reshaped the way that people thought and lived. He taught in parables, and lived out a lifestyle that was no typical of a traditional rabbi. So many times my mind has been corrupted by the thought that if Jesus were here on this earth today he would be a nice guy who goes to men seminars and gently loves us. I believe that this mindset is completely inaccurate. We forget that Jesus hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors, uneducated men, the blind, and lepers. This was two thousand years ago and he lived a lifestyle that is radical to us in our world today! Even if he were to come do the exact same thing today in the 21st century would we believe that he was God’s son?

the master communicator

As I entered the new year God really laid on my heart to study the gospels again. I believe that the best example we have to look to for pastoral qualities is jesus christ. I know this might sound basic but I dont want to just read it...i want to become it. I want to let is sink down into the fibers of my being and transform the way i am not only in ministry but in everyday life.

One thing to observe when see how jesus interacted with others is to see who he was interacting with. he acted very differently with lepers or prostitutes than he did with religious people like Pharisees. I dont believe that God wants me to turn over tables in churches where they are not preaching the word of God and being focused one really the "feel good" church...yet. Maybe one day God will let me do that. But to everyone else Jesus was the nicest guy you could ever meet. He was friendly, outgoing, he listened to you and was completely focused on you for as long as you wanted. When he replied or spoke back he never insulted or put them down, but in very honest, but yet encouraging words he found a way to really make an impact on their spiritual well being. sure, sometimes he healed people, feed people, raised people from the dead, but ultimately jesus wasnt about works was he? he was about the lifestyle.

Another thing that i have picked up on that may sound like common sense is the fact that jesus rarely replied back the way the person wanted. He replied with stories, metaphors, parables, scripture, and other forms of analogies. I dont think that we need to always reply with a parable every time someone asks us a question but how often do we really take time to think and let what the person is saying and feeling really soak in before answering back. When we talk to someone or are listening to them we need to be focused on only one thing, and that is them. They want your full attention and they want to know that even if you have not words of advice, that you listened to them whole heartedly and you allowed them to vent and share with you where God has them or what they are going through. Not every conversation is going to be some deep spiritual conversation, but even in talking about your day we need to look at things from an eternal perspective and allow us to view our everyday lives and activities as opportunities to show and be jesus to the world. I believe it starts with learning how to communicate the way jesus did.

My challenge to you, and my challenge to me is to take a journey. A journey that allows God to transform the way you talk even. Communication is something we all must do and be a part of everyday on different levels. I pray that God allows you to see how his son was the perfect example of how to act, and communicate.

day six

It is hard for me to believe that I haven't eaten in six days.  This is the longest I have gone on a fast.  I am blown away at the affects it has on me right now and on my future.  I have a greater respect for fasting and making a part of our Christian walk.  When I study fasting in the New Testament Jesus talks about it like he does with prayer and baptism.  Not "if" but "when" you fast...Jesus never said "if" about fasting.  Fasting is to be an essential element of our growth as disciples.  After six days I am starting to really figure out what it means to long for food.  I would not call it starvation by any means, but I could definitely shove some food down.  But I am not experiencing any physical concerns except hunger.  That is the most encouraging part of it for me right now.  Since my body has never experienced something like this I was a little worried about the side effects (if any) it would have on me physically.  I know about the mental and emotional side effects fasting would have and most importantly the spiritual side effects.

My prayer is that I will be wise in my decision making.  I was talking to someone today about the fast and they encouraged me to not do it just to "prove people wrong," but rather because God is continually giving you the strength to do it.  He told me that being a full time student is tough while doing a forty day fast after someone who had only fasted for 5 days prior to that.  Fasting is something that most people build into.  I will come off my fast if I continue for forty days the day before I depart for Greece for a week long missions trip.  We will be doing some heavy labor and construction in Greece for a missionary family right at the foot of Mount Olympus.  The physical aspect after coming off forty days does scare me some, but right now I am more than loving this period of no food and a whole lot of Jesus.  I will continue to be prayerful in my fast, and this time period.  I do not feel that God is calling me off of it any time soon.

I am finding out how much a fast can take out of your energy.  The evening is the toughest for me.  It is even tougher when my roommate makes pizza rolls in the microwave and the whole dorm room smells like pizza, but it's all good.  I do desire food, but I can honestly say that I desire God far more right now.  I am starving spiritually for more of Him.  I wish my brain could comprehend everything right now and store it forever, but I am shoving so much in that it is tough to remember everything long term.

It has been so nice lately outside and yesterday Jason and I went outside and through the softball on the field with another guy from the hall.  Jason and I are going to play on the intramural softball team that the hall formed.  We decided it would be good to start throwing a little before our first practice next saturday.  As we were outside though God really touched me.  I almost got the wind knocked out of me it was so powerful.  I saw a vision of the Holy Spirit moving on campus here at Liberty and it was violent, and very powerful.  He was baptizing people in the Spirit, and He was going through everyone's "closets" and doing a house cleaning.  He started to get all of the sin out of people's life and bring it to surface telling them to repent and turn away from these evil ways.  The vision only lasted a few minutes as I was looking over the dorms on the Hill on campus but I believe it is true.  I know an RA on the hill and we were talking the other day in one of my pastoral classes about the anointing of the Holy Spirit coming on his hall.  He didn't use to really believe in speaking in tongues as still being around today but he told me that it is hard to ignore the life changing that is occurring on their hall because of the baptism.

Books I read today:

The Revolutionary Communicator - Jedd Medefind, Erik Lokkesome

The Final Quest - Rick Joyner

Scripture I read today:

Acts 1-10

Isaiah 40-45

Romans 8

Verse of the day:

Romans 8:38-39

day five

Today was by far the craziest day of the fast so far.  I got to talk with a friend of mine about the infinite love of God and how that there is nothing we can do to change how much He loves us.  Towards the end of the conversation the topics were broad and vast but I believe that he really pulled something out of it.

I found out while I was at a hockey game last night about Tim being sick and having to be in the hospital due to a kidney stone.  I received the voicemail from Canada (Tim's friend who is also doing the forty day fast with us) about Tim's situation and finally got an updated story later that evening after worrying and spending a lot of time trying to reach them again.  I called Daniel and we talked about it for a while and then spent several minutes in prayer for our brother which turned out to be very effective because when I finally got Canada's number from Georgie he said that T Time was doing really well and that he was getting ready to get some rest.  The downside of the kidney stone was that Canada said that Tim will probably have to eat something and come off the fast.  I can't wait to hear from him tomorrow and see how he is and what exactly even happened.

Daniel and I had already agreed to stay on the fast when we talked on the phone before we knew the deal with Tim because we knew that we were called to it.  I do not know about Canada or anyone else that is participating in the fast but I do know that Daniel and I will remain steadfast in our dedication for forty days.  That is my prayer and hope at least.  I spent a lot of time in prayer tonight for our heath (Daniel and myself) and that we can continue on this journey in full health.  It is sad to hear about Tim but I do firmly believe that we are called to press on.

Through a great evening and some great conversations throughout the day it was really cool and fascinating to see how my fast effected my conversations. A lot of time has been spent in the Word and in books so far on my fast while still going to classes and even hanging out with people but yesterday I felt a presence of God that hadn't been there before.  I think God is truly starting to walk along side of me in every way.  I think I might be starting to experience what it means to truly walk in the Spirit in everything I do.  I have definitely experienced this feeling before but not like this.  This feelings is consistant, it's everywhere and in everything I do.  It's not just a temporary high I get when I pray, read the Word, or talk with other brothers or sisters in Christ about what God is doing.  The fire and passion I have is not run by others, or even by me.  It is completely the Spirit of God operating in me.  I am being sensitive to Him, and learning a lot about how He looks at people.  I walk by and begin to intercede about someone I have never even met on campus, and yesterday as I was praying for this guy who was sagging his head down he looked up and starting to look around for something with a big smile on his face.  I wonder if God spoke to him, or if he was just encouraged in his Spirit.

I'm beginning to tread on waters that are unfamiliar to me.  It's scary, but He is calling me out of the boat to walk with him on the unknown.  Through this experience my mind is being blown away, not to mention my heart, soul, and most importantly, my spirit.  Thanks God.

Books I read today:

The Final Quest - Rick Joyner

Confessions of a Reformission Rev. - Mark Driscoll

Scripture I read today:

Matthew 1-4

1 Timothy 1-6

Verse of the day:

1 Timothy 6:17

day four

To truly hunger and thirst for righteousness is the cry of my heart.  Spiritual hunger is so contagious.  Today the passionate desire for more of Him was so contagious with everyone I came in contact with.  I talked with several people today about what God is doing in my life, not because of anything i said but rather all because of what the saw in me.  I talked with a guy today after my Church in Missions class about what He has been showing me and how it has impacted my life lately and stirred up this hunger and thirst for more of God.  He was encouraged and we both walked about full of smiles and full of joy for knowing that God is doing something on this campus that is way bigger than just each of us as individuals but rather God is doing something campus wide to begin to reunite the bride of Christ and allow it all to start with us.  We have to pray, we have to seek His face, and most importantly we have to let go of everything that has anything to do with us, and allow Him to empty us so that He can flow through us as vessels.

After a great day of being in the Word and truly desiring spiritually far more than I do physically God is really drawing me closer to Him.  I am learning and growing exponentially right now both in the books and on my face.  He has taught me so much and it only makes me want even more.  As i sought God's will for my life today and what He wants for me I just felt this strong peace in my spirit that just said, "let go. let God."  There is always something in my life that I am not fully giving over to Christ.  Today it was my school and the work load.  If I am being completely honest with myself I know that I can space out everything just right to where if I stay on top of it I will be more than fine.  It really isn't that much if I do it according to the pace I have set, but when I get caught up doing other stuff (even reading some of these books that I want to read while being on this journey) I get out of His will.  I was reminded today that God's will for me is to be a student.  That God's will for me is to get good grades and to worship Him through hitting the books.  That I can operate in the Spirit while writing a paper, or studying for a test because that is what God wants for me right now in this time of my life.  It is a weird concept to really think about but I am really embracing it as the semester goes on.  To fully be operating in the Spirit in every aspect would include my school work, my classes, and my studying.  Every aspect of life should be done while being fully obedient to the Spirit of God.  This is what God is trying to not only show me, but create a mindset in me about.

Books I read today:

i am not but i know I AM - Louie Giglio

The Final Quest - Rick Joyner

Scripture I read today:

John 5-15

Romans 8

Psalm 1

Verse of the day:

John 5:19

day three

The enemy is out and is definitely not happy with what is going on.  After talking with people from the Hanger last weekend, the enemy is out to stop what is going on.  I believe that because of the life transformation that has been occurring at the Hanger, the dedication from my guys in my small group, and the fast from these men of God, that Satan and his demons are out to stir up trouble and find weaknesses.  Today the attack came through a conversation with someone who said some very hurtful things.  Things that were far from the truth but were for some reason causing me to want to get very defensive and defend myself.  I have Romans 12:2 posted right about my desk which states, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."  Before a word even left my mouth to respond to the accusations that this person was making over the phone I realized that Satan wanted me to get defensive.  He knows its not true too, but he wants me to get my adrenaline pumping and go at it with this person.  I gently told this person that there was not truth in those statements and quickly exited the conversation.  Satan is waiting for me to fall so he can shove it in my face.  I will fall, I will mess up, but the problem is not failure, the problem is defeat.  I refuse to let any mistake or wrong step I take to redirect the rest of my life.  God holds the keys and the battle has already been won.

Today I rejoice in victory.  Victory of the cross, of life, and of today.  I praise God for allowing me to lean on Him when I am weak and when I am far from feeling or being perfect.  He is the sustainer of life and the one who completes me.

Tonight at Campus Church Ergun Caner spoke (the man!) about relationships.  He is doing a series right now entitled, "Sex in the city of God."  He talked about the various levels of love in the Greek and how the roll over into our English understanding.  He referred to C.S. Lewis' book, "The Four Loves" and how Lewis goes from a person you just meet to a love that only God and I should share.  I have learned a lot about relationships the past few months.  I would probably argue that I have learned more in the past three months that I have the past three years.  God is showing me about who I am, who I am not, what I should look for in a future spouse, what to watch out for and avoid, but more importantly He has taught me what it really means to be in love...in love with Him.

I am adding Lewis' book to my "to read" list.

Books I read today:

i am not but i know I AM - Louis Giglio

The Pursuit of Holiness - Jerry Bridges

Scripture I read today:

1 John

James

Verse of the day:

1 John 4:8